the P-word

Dare I say it? Dare I express it this way? My first unwanted pregnancy. When that little boy handed me the doll and said, “This is my aunt’s secret”, I didn’t believe him. I looked at his aunt, a young, Christian girl, just finishing her 2nd year of high school. All children are a miracle, a gift, an amazing creation of our God, but why her? Why now? Why why why???
“No,” I said. “It can’t be true”. She nodded her head.
“Don’t joke this way with me!” I practically shouted. “I don’t believe you!”
“It’s true.”
I don’t think I’ve ever felt these emotions before, all at once. This girl who I’ve invested in for the past two years, who I’ve loved, trusted, and believed to have a future different from her brother, sisters and parents before her, has given in. The normalcy of a teenage pregnancy in this neighborhood is as if you say to your neighbor, “I bought a new pair of shoes today.” But I truly believed it would be different with her. She promised me. I feel betrayed. I feel defeated. I feel like I messed up. I didn’t do MY job with her. I’m sad. I’m angry. And she knows it. She also knows I love her, and that I’m praying for her. God, PLEASE, rescue my dear girl from this cycle, this entrapment. Restore her relationship with You, and give her wisdom in raising the new life that has now begun.