He has shown you, oh man, what is good and what the Lord requires of you: to walk justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

How to Survive a Paraguayan Summer

I have no idea. But to survive an intensely hot spring, here's what I have...

#1. Take upwards of 4 showers per day:
a) take them in a bathing suit and just continually return to the shower
b) don't, and I repeat, DON'T dry off. This defeats all purposes of the cooling down process.

#2. Cover with water
a) besides yourself, cover the floor with water
b) sprinkle water over the bed and turn your fan on high; this creates a cool surface on which to sleep.

#3. In case of power shortage
a) go outside
b) lay on the floor/ground, preferably with as little clothes as possible; heat rises

#4. Do not touch anyone, under any circumstances. Regardless of when their last shower was, full body sweat generally returns to the body seconds after leaving the spray of the shower. Air hugs and air kisses are accepted and encouraged forms of salutation.

#5. Drink cold water. Eat ice cream (or rather, drink ice cream since it melts upon contact with air).